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Kundalini yoga and my emotions in this Quarantine time. A self-reflection

Since I started the social distancing period of this Covid-19 emergency, around March 14th, I finally found the time to try Kundalini yoga and meditation, through a dear and beautiful friend that has come in my life less than two years ago, with lots of love and peace.

Quarantine days and Kundalini yoga

Kundalini yoga is not the first kind of yoga that I tried, but it’s the first that I am starting to feel like the one that fits me perfectly, thanks to his mix of breathing exercises, deep meditation and series of short (at least at the beginning of the practice) but powerful movements to repeat followingly the rhythm of your own breath!

Kundalini also uses mantras: chanting of sacred Indian words that you have to sing at loud so that the vibrations and the repetition of the words connect you to…connect you to something. (Or at least this is my interpretation of it at this stage of the practice.)

At this moment, I  can’t and don’t want to explain what this connection is, yet. Maybe it’s a place or a feeling or a balance! For now, it’s only a state of mind that it’s been so healing on a deeper level for me.

Kundalini and quarantine gave me the time to analyze and understand on a deeper level my own features and the world I live in: how I connect with people, how other people’s behaviors affect me.

I focused a lot on the rage and the fears that I usually feel in different situations. And also and in particular I focused on the judgment that I make about others, on a daily basis, both on social media platforms and in my “real” life.

This reflection around me, my world, and my way of life makes me realize that something has to change, and I must ask myself some questions. The more urgent are:

How I want my life to be? How do I want to treat others, no matter how they treat me?

In my virtual life-reality, the thing that struck me the most is the hate that I witness all around me.

These days on different social, while we’re approaching phase 2 of the world on pause — the re-opening phase — I feel more and more tired of watching people sharing a post about other people wrongdoing with the coronavirus emergency. Yes, I agree that everyone should follow the guideline of a lockdown and on how to restart a certain way of life, and I agree that lots of people are not doing that, but I also start to believe that bashing people, engage others to hate more people, and send angry feeling towards one on other, is not a path that I want to follow anymore.

I am starting to believe that spreading hate or hate feelings towards others is not the answer to a happy and fulfilled life. Or at least it’s not my own path to happiness.

Is really shaming people on social media that will make people acting in a better way? When we, I, started to think that this kind of feeling would be beneficial to anyone?

Yes, people are going out after two months of lockdown and are not following the rules, yes some people are putting also myself in danger with their behavior, I don’t agree, I think is stupid. But hate them and wanted to have more people spreading hate about them will make them stop?

I would prefer to use my time for spreading good. Let others see a good example to follow.

I don’t want to be the carrier of hate anymore. It is not easy, it is not going to be easy, but I want to try. It will take time, but I firmly believe that starting from acknowledging the problem and trying to fix it is the right answer.

Breathing through hard times

Hence, it’s all go back to breathing, acknowledge, and connect my action to my spirit! Because the focus on breathing let me connect mind and body in such a special way, that I didn’t think was possible. I will still be mad, I would still feel that the easy way it’s to hate and respond with anger. But now I want to embrace another way. A way that of course, I knew was there all along, but that I just decided not to follow before.

It’s the right way, MY WAY? Who knows. But as long it’s the best way for me, that will be enough.

More on this journey to come, if you want to follow!

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